This Is It! The Final Day of The Closet Challenge & The Meaning of Life!

I'm on Day 21 of The 21-Day Clear Mind, Clean Closet Challenge and the topic today is:

Wait, I need a minute to celebrate...

 

 

Ok, all set. Now, where was I?

 

O M G, yes. 

The thing is, I think we have more than one gift. I think our gifts ebb and flow with the course of our lives, so don't put too much pressure on one precious gift, just focus on the gift for right now, the one that you are all about in this very moment, that's the one you get to give away. 

A FEW GOOD WAYS TO KICKSTART FINDING OUT WHAT YOUR GIFT (RIGHT NOW) IS:

1. Ask yourself what you wanted to be when you grew up. I do this with every new client. There's gold in the answer. Think about what you loved to do as a child. That could point you in the right direction.

 

 

2. Ask yourself what you lose all track of time doing. You already did this if you took this challenge. Whatever it is that you lose yourself in (I'm not talking addictive behaviors or obsessive behaviors; think: writing, cooking, etc.) get familiar with it. What can you do for hours at a time and feel like no time has passed at all?

 

3. Ask your trusted friends and colleagues what they think you are good at. Do you always inspire them? Do you always find a way to make them laugh?

 

 

Try those three things and see what rises to the surface. 

If you notice something but think, "nah, there's no way I could do that," perfect. You're in the right spot.

All you have to do now is shut the doubt switch off for like, five minutes, and try (per Day 19).

Take a small step and then take another one.

 

 

If you take a step backwards, cool, let it happen and pivot.

Then rinse and repeat. 

If what you do feels good, or hits that sweet spot (you'll know this because you won't feel like your struggling every second of every day, just a little here and there is per the norm), keep going in that direction.

If not, take a step back, ask those three questions again, and see what else you come up with.

With a clear mind you can start to approach all of this. You can also start to do the same for your closet. Oh yeaaaaa, knew that was coming.

 

MY 21 DAY JOURNEY

21 days have passed, and I have stuck with it.

I'm feeling pretty good right now.

I skipped a couple of days here and there but got this whole thing running and moving at a time in my life when there was tremendous, and very cool, change going on. A move was also thrown into the mix so if I can stick with it during a move, you can do this. 

The goal of the 21-day challenge is to declutter your mind so you can then do the same for your closet and create some real change that will not only stick with you but transform you. 

My closet, as you could imagine, is already pretty clean and clear. The recent move made it even more streamlined so yes, I'm doing this a bit backwards but that's ok. I also wanted to take this challenge because I witnessed the positive effect it had on my life about five years ago. 

So on the final day, it is always cool to look back and see where I was when I first started, and where I am now. 

In the challenge mind you, I don't recommend you re-read what you wrote in detail. When you are finished, you can look at where you were 21 days ago and where you are now. But the real kicker is, if a shift has happened internally, sometimes you won't see it for another month or two. 

I know, I know, instant gratification be damned. You will however, be able to see it immediately when you approach your closet overhaul. You did the work, thought about shifting your perspective towards looking at what you're gaining vs. looking at what you're losing. That will help you tremendously as you start to let go of old clothing and old ways of thinking.

For me, the shift is already pretty evident:

1. I changed up the site so I could allow myself time to work more on things that bring me joy and less on things that I created to stay in that state of being really busy doing a whole lot of random stuff.

2. I also think I'm going to keep writing daily, not on here so much, but for myself. It has become a daily ritual in a sense and I'm kind of loving it. 

3. I realized that I have everything I need for the next phase of my business. It's going back to where it began. That's all I'll say about that.

BOTTOM LINE:

My entire life has changed in the past month. Some things were out of my control, most of them were in my control, and moving forward it's all so different. 

It's amazing to think of how much everything can change, in my case for the better, in such a short amount of time. 

If you're ready for change, if you have it in you and just need to know what to do with it, this 21-day challenge will empower you to figure out your own next steps because honestly, you already know what to do, you just have to get out of your own way.

Day 21, done.

BWIT, out.

 

 
 

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Day 20 of The Closet Challenge: If You Never Try, You'll Never Know

I'm on Day 20 (one, day, left, gahhhhhhh!!!!) of The 21-Day Clear Mind, Clean Closet Challenge and the topic today is:

A lot of what I'm focusing on in the final stretch of this 21-Day challenge revolves around takes leaps of faith. They don't have to be giant.

 

 

When it comes to closet organization, they usually aren't. 

They start small and then from there, they grow.

And when they start to string together a new picture is all of a sudden (i.e. it feels this way but it has been happening for awhile now) comes into focus and once you see that, you can't go back.

The line today, "If you never try you'll never know" comes from a favorite Coldplay song of mine titled, Fix You

 

 Found on tumblr.com

Found on tumblr.com

 

I left out the last four words on there, but they're worth (pun intended, you'll see what I mean in a second) bringing up now, "If you never try you'll never know, just what your worth."

The amount of effort you invest into trying or going after something is directly related to the amount of belief you have in yourself. 

Self-worth ya'll. Ya feel me?

Some of us were luckier than others and started off with a strong support system.

Some of us had no one to cheer us on and no example of what is possible.

But every one of us knows what they need to try.

I know you know what "it" is. You know it, you feel it, you think about it, you try not to think about it. 

I believe it's our responsibility to listen up and try. Just try.

It doesn't mean we have to do it all on our own. Actually, that's pretty impossible. We need to depend on the kindness of others and ask for help when we need it. That is a strength, not a weakness.

But above all, we need to try.

And if we fall down? Fine. It happens. We all have those moments...

 

It doesn't matter. Keep, trying. Actually don't try, just do.

Do it for yourself.

Do it because you taking whatever step you need to take may be of service to someone else that needs you whether you know it or not. 

Just (hey Nike, what's up) do it.

 

 

One step at a time. One hanger at a time. But I'd love if you could take this one outside of the closet after you start with the closet. 

And should you get knocked down, because we all do, think of this:

Get back up.

Try again, not because you are afraid of what will happen if you don't, not because you're trying to escape a situation you are currently in, but try with the hope that you are going for what you believe in and that is a big deal. 

Day 20, holy mother I have one day left.

BWIT, out. I'm gonna go do something over there...

 

 

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Day 19 of The 21-Day Closet Challenge: This Is Why It Never Hurts to Ask

I'm on Day 19 (eek! so close) of The 21-Day Clear Mind, Clean Closet Challenge and the topic today is:

 

Sooo, the truth is, you don't ALWAYS get what you ask for. 

We've all gone in with a number for a salary increase only to get shot down. Ugh.

 

 

Most of us have experienced not getting something we asked for. It's a fact of life, but the thing is, at least we asked.

It never hurts to ask. 

I think everyone gets nervous when they know they should ask for something and they're not sure what the reaction or answer is going to be. 

LIKE WHEN YOU'RE NEGOTIATING

There's an art to it all that I'm still learning, but I have found out a few things that work for me when I ask for something and need to negotiate a bit (read: get into that super uncomfortable back and forth conversation dance that I personally used to dread):

1. Give something first.

When you are able to give back in some small way, it's a gesture of good faith and it creates more than just a back and forth relationship. It doesn't mean you give away money or a large significant chunk of your leverage. That, would be a bad idea. Instead, give something away that you are comfortable offering or else the balance is all thrown off. Do something for the other party that helps them a bit. 

Why do you think I offer free things on the site?

Why do you think most entrepreneurs and small companies give you one month free to try things out?

It's a strategy, sure, but it's also just a good thing to do. 

Show em you can bend a bit.

 

 

2. Leave it open-ended.

Doing this allows for more, you guessed it, conversation. 

When I worked in the stores back in the day I would watch sales associate after sales associate walk up to shoppers and ask that stupid question (sorry but it's pointless and kinda stupid),"Can I help you with something?" The response, 99% of the time was, "no thank you, I'm just looking."

Um, duh. Of course they're just looking. You just set them up for walking away from you at a brisk pace.

 

 

Instead of giving someone an easy way to say yes or no and end the whole convo, leave it open ended. 

BOTTOM LINE

Keep the door open, unless of course you hit a massive bump and one party starts throwing down expletives (this happened to me once actually, when I was freelancing; it was cray-zay and totally unexpected but a lesson learned). That is a red flag, walk away.

Otherwise, rigidity has no place in any of this.

No hissy fits allowed when you don't get exactly what you ask for. Actually, when you don't get it, you have an opportunity to switch it up and try something else.

Plus, the worst feeling ever is knowing you could have asked but you didn't. Even just simply asking can be enough whether you get it or not.

 

YOU AREN'T THE ONLY PERSON THAT HAS HEARD "NO" MORE THAN ONCE

 

 

Some amazing authors out there got shot down by publishers hundreds of times before someone took a chance on them. Maybe when they were unfazed by the rejections, when they could let go of the "no's" they opened themselves back up to the 'hell yes's" out there.

The hustle didn't stop, nor did their belief in it. 

 

Not getting what you ask for is no big deal. It can actually be a really good thing.

Not asking for what you want and deserve IS however a big deal in my book. Don't be that girl/guy. Just ask. You have nothing to lose usually.

The outcome just doesn't matter as much as we think it does. It's our reaction to the outcome that is everything. 

And I'll leave you with one of my favorite songs EVER that speaks to this so, damn, perfectly I can't even take it (but I can):

The Rolling Stones, You Can't Always Get What You Want- "You can't always get what you want, but when you try sometimes, you find, you get what you need. "

Wise word. Cue: throwback gif:

 

 

Day 19 done.

BWIT, out. 

 


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Day 18 of the 21-Day Closet Challenge: Enough Already. Oh, And This Is How I Do Super Bowl Day.

It's the Super Bowl you guyyyyysssss!

 

 

Oh wait...that's right...I don't care. 

Sorry not sorry. Let's just call it what it is.

I watch it for the commercials & Beyonce (bad native Texan that I am) plus it's an excuse to hang out with friends and pretend-watch sports. 

Before I go do that though, I'm on Day 18 of The 21-Day Clear Mind, Clean Closet Challenge and here's what I'm talking about:

If you have a massive (unrealistic) to-do list every day and find that you never cross off enough line items to make you feel like you've gotten anything done today, enough. 

Just enough. Pick 3 things on your to-do list. Do them. Then...celebrate.

 

 

Do something small for yourself, leave work fifteen minutes earlier than normal (or an hour), get the extra shot of vanilla in your latte, or just say "that is enough" until you believe it.

You got through the three things you set out to do. And even IF you don't get through all three, it is STILL enough. Sounds insane right? 

Well...when we constantly feel like we're never doing enough it is a day to day beat down. 

I am notorious for creating massive to-do lists that no one in their right mind would ever attempt doing in a 24 hour period. These epic to-do lists would wear me down, and by the end of the day, I couldn't see straight. I felt no sense of accomplishment and I wanted to just curl up into a ball and watch tv.

Which I did...

 

 

And then, I would get up and repeat this exercise in futility all over again until I decided to take a break (read: my roommate at the time stole my laptop from me as a means of intervention).

I realized 80% of what I had on my to-do list didn't get me closer to my big picture goals so I bubbled up the bigger tasks and put those front and forward.

Then, every time I would complete something, I went all Pavlov on myself and gave myself a reward. I made sure the rewards weren't always consumption based (food, shopping, wine, etc).

Instead, I would give myself 30 minutes to just walk around outside in the 70 degree sunny weather I was getting accustomed to. I would take time to call a friend I hadn't spoken with. I would nap, man I love power naps. And yes, sometimes I would buy that salted caramel gelato that tastes like what heaven feels like I'm pretty sure.

 

 

Of course, this would lead to the inevitable sugar-crash-cat-nap (on-cat nap that is).

 

 

Ok I'm back. Here's a good one:

Once I went through and cold called a list of two thousand editors about the new book I was launching (over the course of a week or so because again, it needs to be possible; one day would have killed me).

For every few editors I got to, I would eat a gummi bear. I know, I know, I said no food rewards but this one worked. Not that I advocate such blatant sugar consumption at ALL, but I'm not above it ok? Ok. 

The bottom line is, I would mix it up but always start to try and celebrate the small accomplishments. 

The more I focused on the accomplishments, the less stress I would feel. The less stress I felt, the more I could do creatively.

Focusing on what I did accomplish and not just what I didn't get to lightened the load enough for me to start to see more and more what I could keep on and what I should take off my to-do list.

So I ask you, what are your BIG 3 tasks that you're going to do today?

Or actually, write them out tonight and go into tomorrow with this fire lit.

1. FILL ME IN.

2. YEA ME TOO.

3. C'MON, ONE MORE, YOU CAN DO IT I SWEAR.

Night before planning, especially when you need to know what to wear, is the best thing ever.

When you finish your BIG 3, celebrate in a small way. Actually, think of how you'll celebrate the night before as well. Why not?

And when you DO cross those to-do's off that list, you'll feel good. But when you celebrate a  little bit, you'll feel better. And eventually, you'll feel like you can do anything. You'll feel like you really CAN be a backup dancer for Beyonce:

 

 

Delusions of Beyonce grandeur aside, giving yourself a little pat on the back for small steps towards a big goal is always a good thing. 

Give it a shot, and if you want to take it to the closet, pick 3 items this week you're going to let go of.

You don't need an entire donation pile, just 3 things.

Then, once you drop them off at a local shelter or Goodwill, or wherever, do something sweet for yourself. 

Why not right?

Day 18, that's enough for now thank you very much.

BWIT, off to watch some of that foosball stuff.

 

 

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Day 17 of The Closet Challenge: The Benefits of Forgetting What Time It Is

I'm on Day 17 of The 21-Day Clear Mind, Clean Closet Challenge and the topic is:

Have you ever sat down (or stood up depending on what your 'what' is) and started working on something only to look up at the clock multiple hours later and realize you a. haven't eaten anything and b. really have to pee?

I do that every day and it all usually starts with something I am writing on this site. I'm actually doing it right now as I write about doing it. Whoa, it's like a dream within a dream.

Inception moment anyone?

 

 

But still, you know that feeling, or at least I hope you do because if not, this post is totally lost on you. 

When is the last time you did something and time passed without you even knowing it? When is the last time you found yourself in 'flow' when nothing else mattered, nothing else going on around you was on your mind because your focus was so solidly on the task at hand?

It doesn't have to be just one thing either. You may have a couple of loves of your life whether they are people or practices. But starting with one is a good way to go about it. You can build from there...

When you forget what time it is, when you look up and see that you started at 5am and went until 2pm without eating anything, you're doing something that hits home for you. 

It doesn't even mean that thing you're doing is your life's calling, it just means you really enjoy it right then, and right now.

It doesn't mean it has to make you money (this was a tough pill to swallow for me a couple of years ago).

It doesn't mean it has to complete you in some way.

It's simply something you freaking love to do. That is all and that is everything at the same time.

And when you know what that is, it kinda feels like this:

 

 

Why is it important to be hyper aware of what "it" is?

Because there's something that happens when you lose track of time. 

Something hard to put into words really, because it is so out there and yet so weirdly familiar. 

When this happens, when time flies and not because you're up all night at the roulette table in a casino pumping the A/C with a never-empty Old Fashioned in your hand,

 

Whoops, tangent.

The point is, when you are really in the flow of a task, whatever it may be, you are present.

You are here. You are now. Tomorrow's to-do list is non-existent. 

Whether or not you sell the couch before you have to move out in two days is like, a major non-issue.

The fact that you aren't sure if you want to go on a second date with him but you don't know how to say it sort of falls off the face of the planet in terms of importance.

That is why it's important to re-discover what you do when you lose all track of time. 

Sometimes it involves another person, I get that and I love that. But this is more of an individual practice that I'm referring to here. It is solely dependent upon you and you alone. That way, you can make it or you can break it.

The choice is yours. The opportunity is yours and per Day 13, if it is important enough to you to feel what you feel when you find your flow, you will keep going after it.

And when you do, you will be more present. And when you're more present you can see the opportunities in front of your that you may not have been able to see before as you went down the grocery list of life "stuff' you need to take care of.

Life opens up because you actually start showing up for it.

Daily practice is involved. I'm learning this as I go and I'm not a master at it yet but every day that I sit down to write, is a step in the right direction. Right now, nothing else is happening except me writing to you.

And I love that so much. So much.

Day 17, done. Wow, only a few more to go. So THAT happened.

BWIT, off to pack up the place.

 

 

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