It's Day 14 of my 21-Day Clear Mind/Clean Closet Challenge and today it's all about looking at what you like as opposed to what you don't like....about yourself.
Some self-improvement peeps call this "mirror work." I call it, looking at yourself in the mirror. So deep, I know...
I'm not an expert on body dysmorphic disorder but I have stood in thousands of fitting rooms watching clients (predominantly women) pick themselves apart in ways I wouldn't wish upon my worst enemy.
Also, I'm going to say about 70% of the girls that were my friends, some closer than others, had and still have, body image issues.
There's a ton of debate out there on the topic. I'm not here to add to that.
Instead, I'm coming at it from a more oversimplified approach that sure, may not solve body image issues overnight (what does?), but it is a step in the right direction and definitely a major part of letting go so you can rebuild your ultimate wardrobe.
Today's homework to address this is:
When you look at yourself in the mirror, instead of immediately calling out your flaws, try to find something you like.
Giving good lash today?
OMG your girls have never looked better.
Get it girl.
Can we just talk about what that v-neck is doing for your décolletage?
I mean really, wowza.
OK your turn.
I'll do it too.
Joke, giggle, feel awkward, go through all the emotions. Just pick one thing you see in your reflection that you like.
And if you can't, ask a friend.
And if you can't do that, please reach out to a professional because there is always (ALWAYS) something good to be seen in that reflection of yours.
It's there, you just can't see it with your own eyes...for now.
Which brings me to my next point, seeing vs. not seeing.
Sometimes we cloud what we see with what we know and assume based on our past.
At the end of the closet overhaul, so many clients see an empty pile and a hole-y closet.
I see space that has been created and doesn't have to be filled right up, right away, but is now making room for really great pieces to come in.
Glass half full, glass half empty.
Closet half full, closet half empty.
Do you see where I'm going with this?
This is not a one-and-done perspective shift.
This is a daily practice, kind of like this writing challenge.
You will catch yourself a lot, as I do, throughout the day heading down one path of thought that may not really serve you but the wave of emotion is hard to not ride.
Like today, instead of seeing an entire apartment I have to pack up, I'm going to see the opportunity to purge what I don't need/use (can I tell you how much I adore letting go of things? Cause I do) and focus on the start of a brand new adventure instead.
The mini-freak outs will continue. Instead of falling into those traps I'm going to use them as cues to redirect and look at what IS working as opposed to what is not.
It doesn't mean I won't still feel overwhelmed at some point. It means, if/when I do get the moving heebie-jeebies, I can say "hey, what's up unnecessary worry?" I can address the crap feelings, give them a little bit of my respect and time, all so I can acknowledge the feelings I want to feel: progress, accomplishment, security in knowing those boxes will get packed and everything will be all right.
In order to shift my focus I first have to have a little focus. Hellloooooo A.D.D. generation! I'm looking at you. It's a tough one...
OH LOOK! A SQUIRREL! THAT WATER SKIS?
Bring it back to me...
The more I write these posts, the more I see how important focus is in my life.
Case in point, I realized how 80% of my time (yes, I made a hand drawn pie chart because I'm cool like that) was going towards activities that either did nothing for me, earned nothing for me, or just generally annoyed me. And the kicker is, I didn't need to be doing these things.
Right. I sat down, took a step back, and purged my every day tasks like I would a closet filled with pieces collecting dust.
Then, I changed the entire structure of this website.
Drastic? Maybe. Effective? 100% yes.
THAT Is the kind of change I've been looking for.
I eliminated the 'dit' work as my mother likes to call it. The busy work we do to feel important or just to fill the time was gone from my life. And then I was left with, time.
Lots of it.
A surplus if you will.
Speaking of getting focused...
Go check yourself out and see if you can shift your focus to something good you see in your reflection.
Personally, I'm having a really good hair day. That is one focal point for moi. Whoever invented dry shampoo deserves an award.
Ok, your turn. Go show yourself some love.
Day 14, done.
I'm officially on the final week stretch!
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